Friday, April 6, 2018

Day 15756 - And the Free Fall!!

Its strange that the same gravity that holds your feet to the ground and makes you feel so balanced is the one that makes you feel absolutely disoriented when the ground below your feet are taken off! I am in the phase of what I will call "Re Orientation" rather than "Dis Orientation" after 224 days of the free fall!

So for everyone who is reading this, here is what I experienced emotionally (in a chronological order ) after I bungee jumped from my comfort zone….

  • Day minus 1 to Day 7 – Excited and Elated!
  • Day 7 to Day 15 – Intoxicated – since I started enjoying the "high" I used to get when people started asking me "Really! You really plunged from the rat race?"
  • Day 16 – Day 51 –  Excited and Scared – Its those Reinvention days.
  • Day 51 to Day 100 –  Exhausted – With all the new steep learning curve that I was undergoing
  • Day 101 to Day 107 –  Regretful – What did I do, Why Did I do this? 
  • Day 108  to Day 130 –  Disappointed – Am I really good for this? Why is it so difficult to unlearn and learn? Have I become dumb and numb both!
  • Day 131 to Day 135 – Intoxicated once again! – May be I met someone who again praised me for having the courage to do this!
  • Day 135 to Day 160 – Excited. – Once again with my new life!
  • Day 161 to Day 163 – Scared and Regretful – What did I do, Why Did I do this? I was so comfortable back then!
  • Day 164 to Day 194 – Content –  with myself and the happenings in life!
  • Day 195 to Day 196 – Confused –  Is this really what I wanted to do?
  • Day 197 to Day 210 – Excited – Here is what I will do in future? Its okay what you are feeling now.
  • Day 210 –  Depressed – No this new thing is just not exciting at all. I am once again getting the familiar old feeling of pre-plunge days
  • Day 211 to Day 224 – Enlightened – Okay you fool, You are getting confused. You have done the right thing. Look at how many appreciate what you did and are inspired by you. They all cant be wrong! You just need to "re-orient" yourself.

Day 355 (Today) – Its strange that the same gravity that holds your feet to the ground and makes you feel so balanced is the one that makes you feel absolutely disoriented when the ground below your feet are taken off!

….to be continued…….


Day 15400 - The thrill of bunjee jumping!

No. I haven't ever bungee-jumped in my life! (At least not the kind you are thinking or what the picture depicts). So it follows that I am not at all qualified to write even an "alphabet" , leave aside a complete blog post on this topic.

And yet I am about to.

I am about to bungee jump.

From everything that I am used to for 4 decades of my existence. From a comfort zone where I could operate effortlessly even in my deepest sleep. From an assured-secured-high-paying-job that provides me with an almost near-infinite supply of all my needs. From everything I was "engineered" and "trained" for in my early years of life. From a world where annual merit increase is a fundamental right and its absence an absolute act of "betrayal". From a universe where a mere casual official dinner could cost the same as two months of pay of someone just a few meters away from you. From a world where sky has never been the limit.

Ten days from today, I leave this universe. I jump into the open space to explore the different possibilities that life can offer. I go to a world where demands will overtake the supplies all the time. I go to a world where I will have to think twice before indulging in anything that is more than an absolute need. I go to a world where every day is lived just the way it ought to be – One day at a time!

I feel the same "thrill". The thrill that you get when you jump from a cliff with only a thin rope tied to your feet and absolutely no guarantee of that rope pulling you back in time. I feel the same "stomach cramp" that you get when having a free fall from a height with  no certainty on where you are going to land. I feel the same "excitement" that you get when you observe the world from a height and discover how beautiful it always was. You just were not watching it from the right altitude!

I have plunged.

Zindagi – Watch out – Here I come to explore you again!