This blog is dedicated to all my failures. It’s a confession box which I know is going public!
I just thought I should list them out and then really think around if they were indeed a “failure” in true sense.
So here we go with the list in chronological order of when they happened in my life
- My earliest recollection of one my first failure was in the entrance exam of my school. I flunked the entrance test and the school refused me admission (to grade 1). I am told, my parents used my sister’s high score to get me admitted. (Those days were cleaner – there were no money transactions, only persuasions!)
- My next failure that I can recollect is perhaps a trivial one – where I must have forgotten a few important lines of my speech during school assembly. "Embarrassed" - I was.
- My next failure was in "all" the Engineering entrance exams I gave – IIT, Delhi College of Engineering, IT- Roorkee, BITS Pilani / Mesra and even common entrance exams of Uttar Pradesh. I didn't clear even a single one!
- My next failure in the same line repeated 4 years later – this time entrance exams of Management schools – IIM, NM College, SP Jain, XLRI, MDI – You name any tier-1 or 2 institute and I didn't clear any of them.
- Next failure came with my job search– Entrance exam of Infosys in 1996 (which means had I got through, I would be one of their prized possessions but I didn't!!)
- Next – I messed up real bad in a presentation for a customer demo – This time in Chicago where I was giving a code walk-through and was brutally attacked by questions I was least prepared for. I was bruised real red and blue!
- Last one that I can remember for now was somewhere in my mid-career (2007 or 8) - I just wanted to attend any job interview for the heck of it and see how market takes me. I cleared first round of interview with ease. The second one went miserable. I was crushed one more time!
- Since then, there might have been more, but then either they are trivial or I am just not recollecting or I am just not aware. Either ways I don't think "they" have stopped or will stop ever.
So what do I make out of all this?
To begin with let me list out now what eventually happened in my life because of each of them
- In the same school where I was refused admission, my name shines there in Honors roll for having secured the highest percentage in mathematics (96%) in public exam and forever engraved in those wooden boards!
- Today – I hardly spend any time preparing for speeches – I just prepare for the “theme”. Since there is nothing granular that I prepare, there is nothing I can forget!
- Eventually I did get my distinction degree in Engineering and topped my college in first year. Yes it was not Tier-1 or 2 or maybe not even 3…but here I am with 17 years of work experience across two continents with "that" degree!
- I finally did make a back-window entry into IIM Bangalore and completed 1 year part time program with "A" grade. I guess those "entrance" failures had left me forever “hungry” for learning.Even today I keep attending "exotic" courses through MOCS from universities such as Harvard, Carnegie Mellon and many more….
- Infosys – TCS – IBM – What’s in a name? An organization by any other name sounds and smells the same!
- Customer Presentations – Today I am more open, more transparent and more fearless than ever before. Maybe it was the failure of those early days which helps me be "such' today.
- And for Interviews - I am more on “take” side of interviews than “give” these days. And my idiosyncratic attempts at making the “interviewee” feel comfortable (if they ever reach my round) can only be attributed to my own earlier failure. I know from first-hand experience that the "real" you is somewhere hidden beneath those layers of "discomfort" that the process of "interview" creates!
So what really is a "failure"? Is there anything or anyone who really fails?
What do you feel?
- The Honest me!
